Most of us have our initial interaction with our mothers when we are young. We initially develop a feeling of self-worth, self-esteem, confidence, and emotional intelligence as a result of her caring, support, love, and attention. Nonetheless, having narcissistic parents might negatively impact human growth.

A strong relationship with our mothers demonstrates how to interact productively with the world around us—how to create relationships, empathize with others, and appreciate the people in our lives. Yet, any abusive relationship or one with an undercurrent of emotional toxicity puts us at risk for anxiety, sadness, low self-esteem, and low self-worth. If you recall hearing phrases like “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Oh, poor you. Did I hurt your small feelings?” or if you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I ever be good enough?” It’s probable that your mother is narcissistic.

Narcissism is a general term used to describe someone who appears to be overly self-confident. Narcissism, like most other personality qualities, is considered as a spectrum, with most people falling somewhere in the middle.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is at the far end of the spectrum (NPD). NPD is characterized by an overinflated feeling of self-importance, a strong need for excessive attention and praise, difficult relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. Only a mental health specialist can diagnose it.

On the surface, persons with NPD appear to have a lot of confidence and self-esteem, but this is not the case. These people’s delicate self-esteem makes them vulnerable to even the slightest criticism, so they do everything they can to improve their self-esteem. To accomplish this, persons with NPD frequently seek out individuals who they perceive to be exceptional or special in some way, and they are continuously on the lookout for excessive appreciation and attention from others.

Individuals suffering with NPD may exhibit the following characteristics:

A conceited sense of self-importance

Obsession with thoughts of limitless success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love
The conviction that one is unique and can only be understood or associated with other unique persons or institutions.
A desire for overwhelming adoration
Possession of a sense of entitlement (to special treatment)
Taking advantage of others
An absence of empathy
Others’ envy or the perception that one is the object of envy
haughty or arrogant conduct or attitudes

Work, relationships, and even finances can all suffer as a result of NPD. They will be quite dissatisfied and disappointed if they do not receive the attention they believe they deserve. These people frequently find relationships unsatisfying, and many others dislike being around them. They can be excellent achievers, but their inability to deal with criticism hurts their performance. They may withdraw or act humble in the face of defeat or criticism.

Because of their proclivity for impulsive conduct and shame, people with NPD have a greater risk of substance abuse, mood, and anxiety disorders. Researchers are still unsure what causes NPD, however it can be treated with psychotherapy to help individuals relate to people more empathetically. Therapy can be challenging, however, because persons with high degrees of narcissism are generally defensive and have difficulty admitting that their conduct is problematic.

Narcissism in motherhood can manifest itself in a number of ways, all of which can make being the child of a narcissist extremely challenging, if not detrimental to their mental health.

A narcissistic mother’s usual habit is to dismiss her children’s feelings, emotions, and accomplishments. When her child approaches her when they are sad or have had their feelings hurt, the narcissistic mother dismisses them rather than offering comfort and counsel. Occasionally the mother has damaged the child’s feelings, in which case she is likely to inform her child that they are being overly sensitive or dramatic.

Narcissistic mothers would ignore their children’s sentiments in order to manipulate the situation and define the emotions they are allowed to feel, eventually leaving them unable to recognise their own emotions.

Children with narcissistic mothers often find themselves asking the question “can I ever be good enough?”. This is because, despite their greatest efforts to impress her, she always finds a flaw in her child. With her incessant desire for validation and approval, she shames her children in order to keep them fighting for her attention.

What are some examples of things a narcissistic mother might say?

While a narcissistic parent may say a variety of things. Some of the things they could say, according to psychotherapist Lena Derhally, are as follows:

“It didn’t happen. You must have made it up.”
“I do so much for you, and you never thank me!”
“You should try being more like your [another individual]. They’re fantastic.”
“How come you can’t just get over it?”
“Don’t squander your time. It’s probably too difficult for you.”
“You’re usually so preoccupied with your own life that you don’t even consider me.”
“I’m exhausted from doing everything for you.”
“You’re gaining weight and may soon be unable to fit into your new clothes.”
“If you don’t do precisely what I say, I’m going to have to punish you.”
“Be silent. Nobody is interested in what you have to say.”
“I have to punish you since it’s your fault.”
“Can’t you see I’m preoccupied? I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for you right now.”
“Don’t even bother asking! No, it does not.”
“The only person who could ever truly love you is me.”
“I gave up my entire life for you, and all you care about is yourself!”
“You’d be so beautiful if you simply lost a few pounds.”
“I’ll never comprehend how I gave birth to such a child.”
“What’s the matter with you?”
“Are you tired? What do you think I’m thinking?! “I’m in charge of everything around here.”
“Thank you for cooking – even if it’s not really nice.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”