Bryan Johnson, a 46-year-old “biohacker,” claims that his very unusual diet and exercise regimen have given him the physical fitness of an 18-year-old.
With the assistance of a team of 30 specialists and $2 million (£1.57 million) annually spent on food, therapies, and medications, he claims he has created the “perfect diet” to slow down or perhaps reverse the aging process.
Be prepared to wake up at 5.00am, avoid eating after 11am, and go to bed at 8.30pm if you want to live like Bryan and maybe escape death itself (we’ll see whether he’s truly done it in a few decades).
Additionally, be prepared to consume an astonishing amount of veggies and swallow a real mountain of medications. Ideally, you should have a teenage kid whose blood you can use to inject yourself.
If all of this has you thinking, “Phwoar, I’ve got to get me a piece of that,” Bryan has ten very tough requirements for anyone looking to date him.
Bryan believes that since injecting himself with his son’s blood, “more women reached out to me than ever before,” and that the majority of the rules boil down to following his lifestyle.
He advised Muscle and Health that the first rule of dating him was to cease eating at the same time as him. As a result, your final meal would be at 11 a.m. like his.
The next step would be to go to bed at the scheduled time of 8.30 p.m. If your head is not on your pillow when he does, Dumpsville may soon include you.
Speaking of activities to engage in while your head is on the pillow, rule number three is “no pillow talk,” and rule number four is “you sleep alone,” so forget sharing a bed or exchanging tender words.
In fact, disregard the majority of talks entirely since Johnson’s fifth rule is “no small talk,” as she takes a “really don’t care” attitude toward it.
The sixth guideline is “no Sunday vacations,” so if you were considering taking some time off on the holy day of rest that is Sunday, reconsider.
Though at least you’re not on the clock while bonking as Johnson claims it’s “playtime,” if you’ve made it this far and are still willing to get with the 46-year-old who is trying to have an 18-year-old’s body, you’d better learn everything about rule seven and your sex schedule.
You will at least be aware of the effectiveness of his routine “penis rejuvenation therapy” sessions.
‘Veggie Daddy’ is the name of rule number eight, and we’re going to assume (and hope) that this means you’re expected to adhere to his strict vegetarian diet.
Let’s move on to rule nine right away. Johnson states that any prospective partner “must give plasma,” despite the fact that he stopped using that treatment because there were “no benefits detected” from using some of his son’s.
The final statement on the list of ten guidelines is what every woman wants to hear: “You are not my top priority.”
Bryan Johnson is the man of your dreams if you’re searching for a 46-year-old man with the body of an 18-year-old who will require that you conduct your life in accordance with his daily schedule, refrain from sleeping next to him, avoid talking to him frequently, and accept that you are not his top priority.
