A 70-year-old man has never been married
One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is l0ve at first sight…
They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, tel friend, how was him,
“Oh, it was beautiful,” says the man. “
The sun, the surf, we made l0:ve almost every night, we –
” His friend interrupts him. “A man your age! How did you make l0:ve al!most every night?’
”Oh,” says the man, “we al!most made l0:ve Monday, we al!most made l0:ve Tuesday.”
Not enough?
Let’s enjoy a few light-hearted jokes and stories about a 70-year-old man who has never been married:
1. The Perfect Bachelor:
Once, a 70-year-old man named Harold was asked why he never got married. He replied, “I always thought I’d find the perfect woman. But after 70 years, I realized I was just being picky. At this point, my criteria is down to two things: breathing and not trying to take my last slice of pizza!”
2. A Wedding Invitation:
Harold received a wedding invitation from a younger relative. He chuckled and said, “I can’t believe it! At my age, I’m the last one standing! If I go to this wedding, I might just end up being the one who catches the bouquet—then what?!”
3. The Relationship Expert:
One day, Harold decided to share his wisdom on love with his friends. “You know,” he said, “I’ve never been married, so I’m basically a relationship expert. I’ve perfected the art of commitment by committing to my couch and TV remote for 70 years. It’s a full-time job!”
4. The Dating App Dilemma:
Curious about modern dating, Harold signed up for a dating app. After a week, he told his friends, “I didn’t realize I had to compete with photos of women holding fish and skydiving! I just wanted to find someone who likes bingo and can tolerate my cat’s attitude!”
5. The Secret to Longevity:
At a family gathering, someone asked Harold his secret to a long life. He grinned and said, “Simple! I never had to deal with in-laws, and I always kept my own side of the bed warm with my collection of blankets. Plus, no one argues about what to watch on TV!”
