My mother-in-law is the sweetest lady, but she has one awful habit—she posts the worst pictures of people on Facebook. Double chins, weird angles, bad lighting—she doesn’t care.
She won’t ask permission, and she won’t tag you. She even saves old pictures from my profile, makes random collages, and posts them with captions like, “Look at my beautiful daughter-in-law!”
The first time I met her, she had a folder on her desktop labeled MY SON’S GIRLFRIEND—full of my photos! We’ve tried telling her it’s not okay, but she just laughs it off. Today, I saw she posted something new, and my stomach dropped. This time, it was worse than ever.
It was a photo of me from last summer’s family barbecue. I was mid-bite into a giant burger, ketchup smeared on my cheek, my hair frizzy from the humidity, and my eyes half-closed like I was in a food coma. The caption read, “My daughter-in-law living her best life! So proud of her!”
I groaned and immediately called my husband, Daniel. “Your mom did it again,” I said, my voice a mix of frustration and defeat. He sighed. “I’ll talk to her, but you know how she is. She thinks it’s endearing.”
Endearing? Maybe to her. But to me, it was mortifying. I’d spent years curating my online presence—carefully selecting photos that showed me at my best. And here she was, undoing all of it with one click.
That evening, Daniel and I went over to her house for dinner. She greeted us with her usual warmth, hugging us tightly and fussing over how “skinny” we looked. As we sat down to eat, I decided to bring up the photo. “Hey, um, about that picture you posted today…” I started, trying to sound casual.
She waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, honey, you looked adorable! Everyone loved it!”
“But… I wasn’t exactly ready for that picture to be shared,” I said gently. “Maybe next time, you could ask me before posting?”
She tilted her head, confused. “Why? You’re family! I don’t need permission to show off my family.”
Daniel jumped in. “Mom, it’s just that some people like to control how they’re seen online. It’s not a big deal to ask first.”
She looked genuinely puzzled, as if the concept of privacy on social media was completely foreign to her. “But I’m not doing anything wrong,” she insisted. “I’m just sharing love!”
I could see this conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so I dropped it. But as the weeks went by, the photos kept coming. A blurry shot of me sneezing, a candid of me napping on the couch with my mouth wide open, even a close-up of me struggling to open a jar of pickles. Each one made me cringe, but I didn’t know how to stop her without hurting her feelings.
Then, one day, something unexpected happened. I was scrolling through Facebook when I noticed a comment on one of her posts. It was from a woman I didn’t know.
“Your daughter-in-law seems like such a fun, down-to-earth person!” she wrote. “It’s so refreshing to see someone real on here instead of all those perfect, filtered photos.”
I stared at the comment, surprised. I clicked on the woman’s profile and saw she was a friend of my mother-in-law’s from her book club. Curious, I scrolled through the other comments. “She looks like someone I’d love to have coffee with!” another person wrote. “What a genuine smile!” said someone else.
For the first time, I saw the photos through someone else’s eyes. They weren’t perfect, but they were… real. They showed me laughing, living, and just being myself. And people seemed to like that.
That night, I talked to Daniel about it. “Maybe I’ve been too hard on your mom,” I admitted. “I was so focused on how I wanted to be seen that I didn’t realize she was just trying to show me as I am.”
Daniel smiled. “She’s always seen the best in people. It’s one of the things I love about her.”
The next day, I called my mother-in-law. “Hey, I just wanted to say… thank you for the photos,” I said. “I realized they’re not so bad after all.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Really? You’re not mad anymore?”
“No,” I said, laughing. “I mean, maybe give me a heads-up next time, but… I get it now. You’re just sharing love, and that’s pretty special.”
From that day on, I stopped worrying so much about how I looked online. Instead, I focused on the moments themselves—the laughter, the joy, the messy, imperfect beauty of life. And when my mother-in-law posted another unflattering photo, I didn’t cringe. I smiled. Because it wasn’t about the picture; it was about the love behind it.
Life Lesson: Sometimes, we get so caught up in how we want to be seen that we forget to appreciate how others see us. Letting go of perfection can open the door to deeper connections and a more authentic life.
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